Saturday, October 22, 2011

The Rebound

Rebound. v. n. 

1. to bound or spring back from force of impact.
2. to recover, as from illness or discouragement.
3. Basketball. to gain hold of rebounds.

4. An undefined period following the break up of a romantic relationship.

Some experience one definition more consistently than another. At one point in my life, rebounds for me were on the basketball court. That was life in simplicity. Unfortunately, since I've stopped playing basketball, I still experience rebounds. Being the rebound is disastrous when generally speaking. It's especially painful for one so entwined with the notion of romance. I think I can only count 2 out of 10 times where I haven't been a rebound. When you're the rebound, you're the pick-me-up. You're the pep, the emotional energy bar. You're the repairman. Your only role is to put back together for another, what the previous other broke. Fortunately for someone like the plumber, he doesn't get attached to the piping he patches up. It'd be weird if he did...

This "repairman" doesn't get attached, maybe it's because he's always eating mushrooms...?

Rebound relationships are believed to be short-lived due to one partner's emotional instability and desire to distract themselves from a painful break up. Having said that, a person who is on the rebound is believed to be psychologically incapable of making reasonable decisions regarding suitable partners due to emotional neediness, lingering feelings towards the old partner, or unresolved problems from the previous relationship.

Unfortunately, a person isn't piping, literally speaking...we may have to revisit that definition on a figurative level. This means that it's nigh impossible for the "repairman" to remain uninvolved and unattached. So what happens when it all goes down? If it isn't already obvious, and it will be to those of you readers who have had some experience in life, the "repairman" gets the shaft!

The trouble with meeting someone who is on the rebound is that usually once they work out the ghosts haunting them from the previous relationship, the current relationship ends. There is even a term for this; "The Transitional Relationship".


Advice? Find out fast whether or not there are copious amounts of emotional baggage, and there will be with someone on the rebound, and keep your emotions away. Put them in a bank, under your mattress, in a safe, it doesn't matter, just lock them away. If you start to invest in that person, you'll be left with picking up the pieces.

No one can blame the rebounding person. In most cases, they aren't going out on some dogmatic mission to make someone miserable. So don't feel you have to go out and destroy this person. Leave that for your next raid. 

Hey everybody, 10 minutes until the raid to hunt down and kill Pinkpoodle's ex!!!

Rather it's the other way around. They are looking for a way to remove their own misery, to feel better about themselves, to move on. The rebound is who does this. He picks up the pieces. He makes her feel better about herself, and shows her that there is value where she once thought there wasn't. Over time, usually a short amount of time, the emotional needs of the rebounding person are met, and then....they move on. The rebound is left shattered! Lost, hurt, confused, shocked...all of the above and more.

Is it a plague? No, it isn't. It's just how emotions and psychology work. The rebounding person isn't at fault here, and neither is the rebound.The biggest favour you would ever do for yourself and for others would be to make sure you're more than over your ex, before you give another a chance.


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